Men Only: Top 10 Dating Profile Disasters
Few men want to be single over the holidays, so now is the time to polish those dating profiles. But, what should you write and what pics should you post? If you could only see what we sisters see, you'd be astounded at how much alike the profiles are.
You want your profile to accomplish three things: show off your authentic self, convey your maturity regarding sex and relationships, and explain what kind of date you'd like, whether just a holiday hook-up or a long-term relationship.
To do that, here are the top 10 things to avoid.
1. "I like the simple things in life..." Don't say this. Be specific and list what you like to do. Do you like sleeping in on Sunday mornings and drinking coffee while you read the paper? Then say so. You're much more likely to attract a partner who likes to do the same.
2. The ballcap. Ugh! The sea of ballcaps! If you want to stand out, be a gentleman and remove that worn out old cap, at least for your profile pic. Women and gay men want to date an adult man with personality, and ballcaps scream I'm afraid to be unique.
3. The naked chest. Yes, we ladies and men who love men like a fit and toned body, but we don't want to see your nipples on your dating profile. Show us how you rock a nice buttoned down shirt. I love seeing men in lots of different types of dress from a suit to t-shirt, because it shows you have a lot of layers to your personality.
4. Selfies. We can see your cell phone in your sunglasses. Pics of men driving with the dog in the passenger seat are a dime a dozen, and mirror selfies with the toilet in the background are just sad. A selfie isn't an automatic turn-off--everyone does it--just don't use it for your profile pic. Get a buddy to wield your camera and show off your best side.
5. "Looking for a drama-free lady..." and "I'm a happy guy looking for someone to share my life with." These phrases are unbelievably common so set yourself apart by skipping them both. In the same vein, we don't want to read a list of negative things you want to avoid. It means you've had a string of bad relationships, and we don't want to be involved in your baggage, either. In your own words tell what you want to experience in your next relationship so we can dream with you.
6. Goofy, sarcastic or cryptic phrases. You get points for being creative, but if we don't know what you mean, or if you're so sarcastic you haven't really said anything meaningful, we can sense you're hiding something. Write clearly from your authentic self.
7. Skiing, hunting, four-wheeling, and SCUBA pics. Enough already. Unless your life revolves around these activities, like you're a hunting guide or ski instructor, just say you like these activities, otherwise, you look like everyone else. We don't really want to see your vacay pics, not yet anyway. We want to know who you are in your every day life.
8. Puppies and babies. Yes, they're adorable, but we ladies and male sisters know they're a stereotypical stab at our hearts, and so do single men considering how many of these pics show up on profiles. Posting pics of your kids or grand kids on a dating site just feels creepy anyway. Just say you have kids and leave it at that.
9. Landscapes and other faceless images. Yes, the Grand Canyon is amazing at sunset and good for you for enjoying, but if it's your profile pic, it means one (or all) of three things: you're cheating, you're nervous to be on a dating sight, or you think you're ugly. In any event, we'll swipe left.
10. Profile names with sexual innuendo. Slideinside and Hot69 may be hilarious to your beer-drinking buddies, but we gals and men-loving men don't think so. We like a sense of humor, but we want to know you can be mature about sex and dating. If you're too uncomfortable using your real first name (and why would you be?) use another common first name. Just be sure to tell us your real name the first time we communicate.
If you need help creating your perfect dating profile, and you live in Colorado's Grand Valley, take me out for a FREE thirty-minute coffee date. I'll help you polish your profile to attract the partner of your dreams.
Buckets of love to you, Dakini Leah
Leah Kenyon is a Certified Tantra Educator helping people employ their sexual energy for healing, intimacy, and self-development. Every adult, from LGBTQ, seniors, differently-abled and other non-traditional students are warmly welcome. She serves Colorado's Grand and Roaring Fork Valleys with classes and affordable private sessions. To book, call 242-5094 or email LivingInTantra@gmail.com.