Pulling Back the Curtain: Kendra and Tom
I received a call from Kendra, feeling shy about what she wanted to tell me. She painted a picture of a professional couple in their late 50s who invested in their love, going to relationship retreats and--here was the delicate point--exploring each other’s sex fantasies. Last year she and Tom had gone on vacation and had treated themselves to something they had always wanted to try but had always hesitated...Tantra. They’d booked a dakini to lead them through a couples Tantric massage. The experience was nothing like they thought it would be. It wasn’t clandestine or pornographic or even really exotic, but it was a delightful leap into the taboo, a secret adventure into their intimacy and desire--but not a vacation memory they relayed to just anyone.
Of the many things I love about being a dakini, one of them is people feel safe to tell me sensitive things. I was proud of them for overcoming the unwarranted taboo, and even prouder when they booked me for a continuation of their Tantra experience. Tantra teaches there are gifts awaiting in the exploration of our desires.
The studio glowed with candlelight and smelled of roses and incense when they arrived. Quiet music played. Wine and chocolates were laid out. For our opening ceremony, I asked them to undress and sit across from each other while I sat unobtrusively in the corner. Sitting nude for one another was not something they had ever done before, and it's an important statement of willingness to be vulnerable.
Tantric Kriya yoga teaches the body is the aspect of the soul that can be discerned with the five senses, so when we allow our bodies to be seen, we invite our souls to be seen as well.
I led them through a soul-gazing exercise, having them express their profound, buck-societal-norm love as well as their boundaries and desires for the session. Tom said he wanted Kendra to feel deeper love than she had ever known. Kendra said she wanted to explore hidden realms of connection for their relationship. I asked their desire for my participation in the session: did they want me to explain the massage passes and then leave the room? To stay, but only describe the exercises? To be an extra set of hands? Both them asked me to be the extra hands.
Our opening ceremony served three purposes. First, that every touch, every exchange, would reflect the sacred nature of the session; second, that we were all the same page with what would and would not happen; and finally, that the rise of erotic energy would be prayer for their relationship goals and emotional healing.
I invited Kendra to lie face down on the massage table. I chose Kendra to go first because she exuded feminine leadership and control, and she needed the down time the most. I knew when her cup was full she’d be able to give to Tom with fresh exuberance. From his shining eyes and heartfelt words Tom clearly loved Kendra, but he was unskilled in how to touch just to relax her, to worship her, to love her whole body as a message all of her was acceptable to all of him. Usually when a husband touches his naked wife, his goal is to work her up toward orgasm or to please himself. I helped him shift his focus to the whole of her being. I showed him how to move slowly, to follow her pleasure cues, to whisper sweet things into her ear, to ask for feedback, to use nyasa or loving energy in his every touch.
During erotic relaxation, a human being draws the veil back between the Self and God and waltzes among the cosmos. This hypnotic space is a sacred temple, a gift from God, for healing, intimacy, and self-development. People report incredible adventures, such as feeling one with all the grains of sand, or soaking in the presence of Wisdom, or psychic time travel to the past or future.
Layers of bravery peeled off Kendra, and she began to weep. She told us she didn't realize how deeply she was grieving their son not living at home anymore, how tired she was from a rough few months at her job. A Tantric trance, or deep erotic relaxation, is the perfect temple in which to grieve, comforted by pleasure and unconditional love. I led her through the Ocean Breath, a breathing and visualization meditation, to melt off the pain.
After an hour of worship, Kendra sat up absolutely glistening. She invited Tom onto the massage table for his turn. As I predicted, she took to the new massage passes eagerly, pouring nyasa into her every touch, grateful for the expansion to communicate love and appreciation. When we got to the first chakra worship pass, Tom elected to have his prostate massaged. I guided Kendra through the steps of external and internal massage, briefly explaining the health benefits. A crock pot of warm towels nearby gave Kendra the chance to discretely wash up while maintaining Tom's Tantric trance.
After Tom was thoroughly loved on, I covered them both with a sheet so they could snuggle up and soak deeply in what they had just shared. I left the room to respect their privacy. This nurturing time is as vital as it is delicious; lovers are present for one another in a snoozy sort of way, without falling asleep, grounding their experience.
The closing ceremony is a time to discuss what happens in session, to highlight what students want to take away, and gently awaken from Tantric trance. Respectfully, I re-entered the room and had them sit across from one another, and this time there was no trace of discomfort sitting nude for each other. Their souls were wide open for one another. Kendra said she felt profoundly loved and cleaned out; she so much appreciated her whole body receiving lingering, loving touch. She was able to relax and let her mind rest, and she felt deeply refreshed. Tom said he was amazed at all the new ways he learned to connect with Kendra's body and consequently, her soul. Both of them agreed sharing Tantric massage was the foray they'd wanted into unknown adventures in intimacy.
As I sat discretely in the corner, I was pondering my own experience in their temple. I could feel the rush of sacred love for them coursing through me, using my hands and words as the opportunity to express just how deeply they are loved by God. The Divine loves us is infinite ways--the sun on our faces, the lick of a dog, the breeze caressing our cheeks, the delightful sound of the best music, the gifts of a Lover--so many ways we often miss what's hidden in plain sight. The dakini's work is merely to remove the veil from the eyes of her students so they can experience God's Love in their very bones. From that point, infinite miracles of intimacy, healing, and self-development unfurl. A couple like Kendra and Tom are rare--most couples would rather suffer silently than be proactive about their intimacy.
Kendra and Tom booked me for a month later, and want to commit to couples Tantra once a month. They say yes to their desire and are discovering incredible gifts only they can know.
Couples Tantric massage is offered by suggested donation in the privacy of your home. Call Dakini Leah at 970-242-5094 to schedule your free consult to see if Tantric massage is right for you.
Big love, Dakini Leah, CTE
Leah Kenyon is a Certified Tantra Educator helping people employ their sexual energy for healing, intimacy, and self-development. She serves Colorado's Grand and Roaring Fork Valleys with classes and affordable private sessions. To book, call 242-5094 or email LivingInTantra@gmail.com